The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
