I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
