Me too!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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