But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize