Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
