I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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