If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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