apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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