i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize