Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
