i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How does it feel to date your dad?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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