90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize