maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She's the barista slut.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
