lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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