you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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