so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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