i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
