you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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