wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
