I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
