I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
