wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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