Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
