I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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