I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
