So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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