Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
