Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize