Pappa wants mamma naked
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
