We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
