I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
