She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
