does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
