Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
