Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
