Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i've created a new STD.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
