this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
