On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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