Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize