Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
