five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
