Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
