He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
