Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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