i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Please don't give away my fajitas
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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