drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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