Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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