So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
my poor anus
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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