thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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