after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
