are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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