i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
