she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
