I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
