Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
