Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
