my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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