just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
