So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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