Cold hands, warm shart.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
