I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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