he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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