i permit you to call me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
