the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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