hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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