dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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