Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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