They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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